I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
