he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
