There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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