HIV tests are more positive than that guy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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