i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
