Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
