my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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