My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
