ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
