I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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