Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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