why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
