she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
