Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
and you fell through a lawn chair
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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