why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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