If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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