Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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