now i know why i became what i already was.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
