You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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