Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
