Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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