She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
