The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
