Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
