it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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