I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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