i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sacagawea was the original milf.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
