i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
