I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
