I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
