It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
