my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
