Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
