I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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