my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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