i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
