At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
