I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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