Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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