but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
