I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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