I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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