that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
