Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I could fuck to npr.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
