dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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