drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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