Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
where are my eyebrows?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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