it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
