She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
