I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
