Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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