The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
