the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
